Summer Girls

They say that hindsight is 20/20. Never did I believe this cliche saying more than recently when I heard the song “Summer Girls” by LFO. It was a wildly popular song in 1999, reaching all the way to #3 on the Billboard Charts. I remember it because it had the catchy lines about Chinese food making him sick and stuff, but 1999 was a mega year for me (high school graduation, first year at college), so it kinda got lost in the shuffle. If you don’t remember it, scroll to the bottom of this post and press the play button.

But when I heard it recently, about a million crazy thoughts and questions ran through my head, so I now present to you what will hopefully become a regular feature on this site — Summer Girls: A Lyrical Analyzation:

New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick
And I think its fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch
I’d take her if I had one wish
But she’s been gone since that summer…

First off, really? A bunch of hits? That would constitute five or more hits. I can count three: “Hangin’ Tough’,” “Please Don’t Go Girl” and “Step by Step.” You got more? Don’t you dare count that Christmas Album.

Hip Hop mama layed Spic and Span
Met you one summer and it all began
You’re the best girl that I ever did see
The great Larry Bird jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets

How did we go from a girl you like, to Larry Bird’s jersey number to William Shakespeare in four lines? I love the whole steam of consciousness thing, but seriously? None of those things are even slightly related. But yes, I will give you credit on this one. He did write a large amount of sonnets, thus constituting “bunch.” Well done.

Call me Willy Whistle cuz I can’t speak baby
Somethin in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can’t forget you and it makes me mad
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer the went back home
Macaulay Culkin wasn’t Home Alone

Actually, yes he was.
That was not only the plot of the movie, but also the title.

Fell deep in love, but now we ain’t speakin
Michael J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

(Chorus)

I’m not an expert on love, but I have some tips for you. Mayhaps the reason you are no longer on speaking terms is because A. Your random 80′s sitcom knowledge isn’t going to impress a girl like this. Stay cool. And B.) The first thing you said to this girl is that she looked like someone else. Never a good move. If someone came up to you and said “You look like the guy at Valvoline,” you’d be insulted. Unless, of course, this was recently, in which case, you probably are the guy at Valvoline.

Cherry, Pez, Cold Crush, Rock, Stud, Boogie
Used to hate school, so I had to play hookie
Always been hip to the b-boy style
Known to act wild and make a girl smile
Love New Edition and the Candy Girl
Reminds me of you because you rock my world
You come from Georgia where the peaches grow
They drink lemonade and speak real slow
You love Hip Hop and Rock &Roll
Dad took off when you where 4 years old
There was a good man named Paul Revere

Woah! You were on a pretty good run there for a minute then you had to fuck it up. Paul Revere? Is this the one time in your life that piece of history wiggled it’s way to the front of your brain? Paul Revere? That was obviously a line you wrote to accommodate “hold you’re near” or some shit.

I feel much better baby when you’re near

Yup, see. I knew it.

You love Fun Dip and Cherry Coke
I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke
When I met you I said my name is Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

(Chorus)

Again, maybe a “Hello, I am Richard. I like your sarong” or something.

In the summertime girls got it goin on
Shake and wiggle to a Hip Hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like
I’ll steal your honey like I stole your bike

Dude, what!? No! Don’t ever steal shit from the girl you’re into. Her bike? Come on, man. She needs that bike to get to and from her baby daddy house ever since her license got revoked. Damn DWI’s!

Boogaloo Shrimp and Pogo sticks
My mind takes me back there, oh so quick
Let you off the hook like my man, Mr. Limpit
Think about that summer, and I bug cuz I miss it
Like the color Purple, Macaroni and cheese
Ruby red slippers, and a bunch of trees
Call you up but what’s the use
I like Kevin Bacon, but I hate Foot Loose

I must admit, you’re the first person who has said that sentence in reverse. Usually it’s “I love Footloose, but hate Kevin Bacon.” But then those people see Tremors and they shut the hell up because his performance is breath-take-ing.

Came in the door, I said it before
I think I’m over you, but I’m really not sure
When I met you I said my name is Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

(Chorus)

I am really not getting through to you on this introduction thing, am I?

Summer girls come, and summer girls go
Some are worth while, and some are so so
Summer girls come, and summer girls go
Some are worth while, and some are so so
Summertime girls got it goin on
Shake and wiggle to a Hip Hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like
I’ll steal your honey, like I stole your bike

(Chorus)

And we’re back to petty theft. Well, LFO, you knocked it out of the park on this one. You said a lot of things to this girl(s). Your pop culture references were astute and ability to use them to find new and exciting ryhme schemes for “you are near” and “rock my world” did not go unnoticed. I truly hope this summer goes much better for you so in closing, I say:

Mark Austin was the first Boba Fett
You’re a one-hit wonder we’ll never forget.

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