Why the iPad is like a Hypercolor T-Shirt

Back in the late 80′s, early 90′s I was known to rock a Hypercolor shirt with my Skidz pants tucked comfortably into my Air Jordan’s. My spiked blonde hair with the two Vanilla Ice lines in the sides. I was only 10 years old, but I had it all figured out and I looked damn good.

But last night, I awoke to a realization; that Hypercolor T-shirt is exactly what the iPad is. See, we had t-shirts already in the 80′s and well before. Hypercolor wasn’t replacing t-shirts. It wasn’t offering us any kind of clothing that we didn’t already have. It was simply a specialty item. And like the iPad, was sensitive to your touch and had difficulty connecting to WiFi networks.

When my grandmother took my brother and I to JC Penny’s that Saturday morning for school clothes, I didn’t need the Hypercolor t-shirt. I wanted it. I wanted it because I could show it off to all my friends, let everybody touch it in the lunch line. Most importantly, it was a status symbol. It showed that my grandmother was willing to spend an extra $5 for a t-shirt that had embedded thermochromes.

Hypercolor was, much like everything ever, marketed as “the wave of the future.” This is what clothing is headed towards. Replace “clothing” with “computing” and you have most of the reviews of the iPad. But soon after my mother washed my Hypercolor shirt in warm water and it took on a permanent light-purple color, the novelty wore off and I was back to my regular t-shirts.

So as I type this on my $2,800 Macbook Pro with upgraded RAM and Hard Drive space, I am figuratively wearing the silky, button down shirt my mom bought me to wear to church on Easter. Sure, it’s not a “t-shirt,” much like my MBP is not a “tablet,” but it does what I need it to and then some. The Hypercolor shirt did what I needed it to do for a month or two and then I was done with it. But that silky button down with the neon yellow and black squares? Damn. I got two Easters, a Palm Sunday and my cousin’s birthday party outta that bitch.