Man Up, Brinks
Jun 02
Brinks. Wow. You have been getting national news coverage this week for dropping almost $300,000 on the streets of my fair city. The story COULD have been that you dropped it, lost it, you’re fired. No, here in Syracuse we still have some decent folks on the street. Two dudes found it and returned it to you and all you did was reward them with a T-Shirt and a gold coin?! For reals, Brinks?
These guys didn’t win the pinewood derby or take part in a pie eating contest at the county fair. They saved you over a quarter of a million dollars. This driver was dumb enough to let that much money fall out of his truck and drive away and all you can do is reward the guys that saved his ass with a cotton tee and a chintzy gold coin!?
And really, how laid back is this driver? I have a chain on my wallet and I never have more than $5 and a BJ’s card on me. If I was toting around that kind of cash, I would triple check every door, sidewalk, alley, everything before I ripped away. Actually, it’s funny that I use the word “ripped” — that could explain his error in judgment.
Now, sure. There’s still $60,000 of that original load missing. I try to look for the good in people and assume these “good Samaritans” didn’t return most of it and keep some for themselves. I mean, who’s gonna notice a missing 60 large? Now, if these fellas roll up to their barber shop and antique shop tomorrow in brand new Land Rovers, maybe we can dig a little deeper. But, in the meantime, try to show a little decency and hook these fellas up with a night on the town at the very least. Maybe some dinner at Ambrosia. A night in the Renaissance? Maybe some hookers? It’s your call, Brinks. But man up on this one.
And while you’re at it, give me one of your old trucks and few grand.
I have some plans for a kick-ass, A-Team style street vehicle. I’m talking BIG plans.
I have to question the judgement of the “good samaritans.” That money was insured against loss. If you find money laying abandoned in the steet, it’s finders-keepers. If you find 300,000 laying abandoned in the street, it’s time to start a new life in Belize. Let the damnable insurance company take the hit. Screw ‘em.
And you speculate that the guys whose moral indoctrination was stronger than their economic common sense, compelling them to return the bags of money, wouldn’t have pocketed sixty grand for themselves. I tend to agree.
But what of the driver who left the door open in the first place? Remember a couple years back in L.A., when a similar thing happened, except the bag fell from an overpass and a hundred people from a nearby housing project swarmed into the street, grabbing fistfulls of cash? Afterward, nobody knew nothin’, and the money was gone with the wind.
Perhaps the driver figured that would happen, and stashed the 60 G’s before the bags ever fell off the truck, expecting that the same kind of scene would happen. Sure, he’d get fired, but he’d have three years salary in cash tucked in his shoes, and nobody would be the wiser. Vacation time! …And he’d still get to collect unemployment.
How could the poor guy have known that a couple of do-gooders would actually bring the big ol’ bags o’ money back to the bank? I mean, who does that? …For a t-shirt and a collector’s coin? Chumps, that’s who.
I was standing in line for my food at a Taco Bell in Carousel Center two weeks ago, and I noticed a dollar bill laying on the floor. I looked around. Nobody had any money out… and nobody else had noticed the bill laying there. I waited. I made eye contact with virtually everybody else standing in the line. Then I stepped over, quite visibly picked up the bill, stretched it out between my hands in front of me, looked around again, making eye contact… and stuffed it in my pocket. Everybody saw. Nobody said a word. I could see that about half of them wished they’d seen it first, but they all just looked the other way–as it should be. Finders, Keepers.
It’s exactly the same; just a matter of scale.
Word to the wise: If you find a big ol’ bag o’ money in the street… stuff it under your shirt and get the hell outta there. That’s the kind of opportunity that only comes along once in life, and if you don’t take advantage of it, then you’re just another chump.
Totally with ya Scotty, who the hell has morals these days anyway? Seriously, I do a lil dance if I find a 5 spot laying around, but we’re talking 6 digits… yeah… I smell cozey lil mountain home and 3 shiny gas guzzling SUV’s. Cuz who else wouldn’t?
I mean, kudos to those guys for steppin up and being “good samaritans” But it just goes to show that being the good guy gets you the shaft.
Time to go do some scratch off’s and try and get mine… or rob a bank… who’s with me?