If I were a Hobo, I’d be so cool. I’d ride on boxcars and eat beans out of tin cans. I’d probably make Hobo buddies and we’d pass each other at the local Hobo hot spots (like, rail yards and what not). I’d say, “Jeff, you still Hoboing?” Jeff would be all “Dude, totally am.” Then we’d chat for a bit and get...

All you do is sit around all day long until I get home and tell you what to do. God forbid you take a little initiative and harvest these crops while I am at WORK. You are not a puppet. You have a mind of your own, so do something around here for Christ sake! I’m not asking much, just maybe rake up some leaves or collect a little horsehair. And really, how...

I’ve really been trying to give Twitter a fair chance here. Do I understand what it does? No. Do I see it’s purpose? Barely. Do I update several times a day? Absolutely. And I have no idea why. I feel an obligation for some reason, but I also enjoy living inside social media. I can get into a whole dissertation here on the mechanics of social media here...

Much like I did last year, I have compiled my list of the Hottest Christmas Gifts this year. I use a very simple, scientific formula: I use a random word generator, enter that word into EBay and pick the most expensive item listed. My logic is that with things like the Nintendo Wii and Tickle Me Elmo grabbing huge bids on there, I am sure there’s many other...

Dear President of Fast Food, This must stop. It has gotten out of control and it doesn’t make any sense what so ever. What the hell IS it? A burrito with fried chicken? American’s aren’t smart. We eat what you tell us and this needs to be removed from our lives before we die. I am of course addressing your newest fad- The Snack Wrap. It’s not...

Bernanke Throws The Hammer Down In a report released on Wednesday, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke blamed declining real estate trends not on a struggling economy, but rather the clueless, self-serving parenting that has been sweeping the country. “We recognize that recent economic downturns have a negative impact on the housing market,”...