Sweet fancy Moses, June has been a terrible month for celebrities. They are all dying off! Well, not “all.” And I kinda use the word “celebrity” loosely. Jen Noble put together this death timeline on her Facebook page and it’s kinda shocking:

David Carradine, 72 – 6/3/09. Ed McMahon, 86 – 6/23/09.
Farrah Fawcett, 62 – 6/25/09. Michael Jackson, 50 – 6/25/09.
Billy Mays, 50 – 6/28/09.

I think the worst part is that we were on quite a death ladder here. Each death was more news-worthy than the last (until Billy Mays brought that to a screeching halt). But really, who could have topped Michael Jackson? The President? It’s a tough act to follow.

But the fact of the matter is that out of all of these, I am most upset over Billy’s death! I loved his new show “Pitchmen.” He’s got a great family. He was fainlly getting som recognition. I was pumped for him. Because out of all these names, he was the only on on the climb. David, Ed, Farrah and Michael all had their time in the sun and sure, they were still working to some extent, but their candles had flickered out. Billy Mays was a shooting star, baby.

Plus, he wasn’t weird. Carradine died jerking off with a belt around his neck while wearing ladies stockings. Michael Jackson – do I even need to get started on him? Billy Mays, to me, was your everyday kinda guy and while the news is still fresh, sure, reports could come out that he died in some freaky way, but right now, in this moment, he is the moon.

If I can give you any kind of advice this summer, do not get famous. Hold onto that screenplay. Cancel your one-man show. Don’t respond to those MTV voice mails. Keep a low, unfamous profile for a few months and then this Fall, hit the ground running. That is, if anyone even cares about you anymore.